Things have been rather screwed up now. Mainly spiritually, with my faith, and also church commitments. Sigh. But I guess what God is trying to teach me here is learning to say No. I guess a problem a always have is over-committing.
I'm currently having a 2-3 weeks break. Meanwhile I really want to work harder for my fitness and track. I really want take this time to train harder as my regular school curriculum doesn't allow me to. What's more my training is always hindered by my injuries; shin splint and sometimes pain in my ankle. Sigh.
But well, I'll definitely work much harder this break.
Signing off,
Shawn.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Hey guys, sorry for such a late entry. I was rather busy and lazy to blog when I have some time. Oh btw, I've created a Twitter! Honestly I'm still very "raw" at it. So it'll take time for me to get better at it. =X Oh well.
Oh yeah, last week. It was insane, it was a real rough week for me. The main issue was about finance and faith. Firstly it all happened when my boss threatened me to cut my pay by 50% if I was unable to hand up an assignment.
It's actually like this, I worked for him for the last 2 weeks of my semester break, but I had one unfinished assignment. Honestly I didn't wanna do it anymore as school has started and I wanna concentrate on my school work, CCA and also to relax. But apparently that didn't seem possible. So I was given 2 options, either I finish up the assignment and get my full pay, or do nothing and only get 50% of my pay.
Honestly I was really stressed up by this, I could only do give up half of my pay, or slog my way through. The thing about the assignment is that it is a VERY difficult assignment and which will take me a few full days. As you all know I'm back in school and my own stuff, so sigh.
But I did pray a lot. I prayed to God for peace, guidance and also wisdom. I was really distracted by this matter and it often made me feel really upset. But one thing I always keep in my mind that God will make a way for me. If He leads me to it, He'll lead me through it. I just kept on meditating on those words which made feel better and peaceful.
So eventually I thought of just giving up and taking just half of my pay. But in the next morning, I realised a bicyle which my friend had lent me, got stolen. Arrgh That was another blow to me. Firstly, that bike is rather new and good, which means that it isn't cheap! Secondly, I'm already in debt as I owe my brother some cash. Lastly, I'm already having this pay-cut issue. Woo... It's like a Good Game situation for me man.
Though it seems like I'm a goner, but that didn't bring me down. I kept on believing that God will make a way for me, and just press on with faith. On the evening of the same day I realised the lost of the bike, all things was solved. Thank God. Firstly my boss just let me go and agreed to pay me full without me having to finish the assignment. Secondly I went to tell the bike's owner the truth. It was real tough, trust me. The fact that I do not know what to do after telling the truth just scares me. And lastly it just shows that God is faithful and awesome. He led me through all this mountains and test of life. Though this might seemed to be nothing big to some people, but I can say that, this one of the biggest things I've faced in face. As I have not really handled that much money before. Oh well, praise the Lord.
Alright, that's about it. Gotta go sleep. I'm real tired.
Signing off at 12.06am
Shawn
[The End]
Saturday, October 31, 2009
To the pathetic loser who knows who he/she is: Sorry, you failed, badly. HAHAHA. But I feel sorry for you man. My condolences...
Oh btw people, I'll update again and I've got a testimony to share. =)
Signing off at 12.28pm
Shawn
[The End]
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hello people. Here's my birthday wishlist. Hint hint. Hahahahahhahaa.
I'm currently at the mid point of the week, which is also my first week of the semester. I could say that things are going fine, though there are some hurdles, things are still fine. I thank God for that. Firstly I've got quite an insane timetable, which I really need to toughen up and get used to it. The craziest would be Tuesday, which is from 11am to 10pm. But I trust that the Lord will lead me through. =)
I had my first training in track, sprints today. It was definitely tiring, but I kinda enjoyed it. I know this is just the beginning and I know there are a lot more to come. But with God, all things are possible and He'll be there to strengthen me and guide me through.
But overall I still think that everything's fine. I really thank God for that.
Signing off at 10.43pm
Shawn
[The End]
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Honestly I'm stucked in between two major decisions that could or would very much change me, or at least the way I look. Sigh. How? This might sound unimportant or even dumb to some of you, but it definitely means a lot to me. If not I won't be so troubled now.
For some of you who didn't know, I left Track and Field and stop my event Javelin as I didn't really like it. But actually I have a thing for sprints and jumps. I always love them, but it's just that seeing how difficult it is to excell in them makes me pull back from it.
I had a conversation with a Track and Field senior of mine yesterday, and it made me really wanna go back to the track and try out sprints, as I think I won't be able to do jumps, unless I shed off most upper body mass? Okay now here's the thing. I stucked in between sprints or bodybuilding. But firstly let me say, the bodybuilding I'm talking about, it's not the professional kind and not that heavyweight catergory. Because I know what comes to your mind when you heard the word "Bodybuilding". That's not that kind I'm not a about. I'm just refering to my weight category and what I am now. That's the bodybuilding I'm talking about.
I can only do one as the two can't go together. It's always a dream for me to excell and jumps and sprints. But now workin out and bodybuilding have became a part of my life, it's seriously in my blood that I'll feel like crap if I stop just for ONE session. How? Sigh.
I've decided to give myself 2 weeks to consider, meanwhile I'll still workout as per normal. By right I can go back the next week as that's the first week of school, but that's my birthday week, so I just wanna relax a bit and not start that track trainings. So I'll have to make the decision by the following week...
Alright guys, shall head to work soon. Cya. =)
Signing off at 9.38am
Shawn
[The End]
Monday, October 12, 2009
Today was a really awesome Sunday, it's been awhile since I had a Sunday like this. I thank God for everything, for today, even for the smallest thing like having an awesome breakfast.
I just realised that I had posted a lot of entries about my nightmares and dreams, but they mostly occurred during this semester break of mine. And after yesterday's nightmare, I realised I had been having a lot of nightmares recently, and they are VERY scary. That made me ponder, ponder about the fact that why do I have all these nightmares? I realised I have a lot of fears deep inside me. Just too much, and it keeps getting bigger and bigger till like it's eating me up. But somehow I don't know what actually I'm fearful of. I do know a handful of those fears, but, I don't know.
Yesterday's nightmare was, I can say one of the scariest nightmares I ever had. It totally spoilt my noon as I woke up in the noon, and I could still remember the details briefly. It's simply like this...
It was set in some place where it's full of people I know, or I could say that they are my friends. But the thing is that, they all are against me and I have no idea why. There are a lot of them and they were like trying to take or pin me down. I was literaly wrestling them all. Though I had the strength to overcome them, but they just kept coming, as if they wouldn't get tired. Hence that made me really tired, till an extent that I could no longer resist them. Then I out of no way or reason, I used my last resort, God. I remember holding onto one "friend's" shoulders and I just talked about God. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I know clearly it's and it's about God. Then things just started to get better, and in no time, I woke up.
That's about it. And after talking to Venetia about it. I realised these are fears deep inside me. To think of it, I have a whole list of fears, but I don't think I'll list them all out. They are rather personal and sensitive to share. Alright then, I've got work tomorrow. So cya peeps. =)
Signing off at 12.21am
Shawn
[The End]
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I feel like crap now. A sense of rejection and fear is upon me.
Actually I just woke up from a nightmare. Honestly I'm really sick of this. I get nightmares almost everynight. Arrgh man. WHY. It always makes me feel like shit. And this one, made me feel betrayal, fear, pain and rejection. Sigh.
Okay, my mood is rather bad because of that nightmare. Alright. Cya.
Signing off at 12.25pm
Shawn
[The End]
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Hey what's up people. Just to update a bit; I've been rather busy these days, mainly working. Well, work is fine, I'm doing what I've learnt in school, but just a more advance version. It's also kinda refreshing and I guess this will gear me up for school which is in 2 weeks time.
But what I've learnt from work is that, every piece of work gotta be really detailed and full concentration gotta be put into it. It's not so much like school though, like there isn't as much stress as work. For me, sometimes I'll just slack while doing my work and don't really do my very best. And also, in work, I've no choice but to step out of my comfort zone and do things which I usually don't do, or suck at. Example, powerpoint and storyboarding. =X But I guess it's really good as it trains and gear me up. So currently I'm doing research and writing for script and storyboard, and then I'll be doing some filming.
Honestly I'm still not used to going home so late, though I used to do that everyday during semester 1. That's because I used to train 5 days a week on weekdays. But that's not the case when I'm having my semester break, but as I said, this working experience will gear me up, not only in doing the media stuff, but also the kind of timings I will need to face in the future. I still workout regularly in the gym, just that I gotta do after work. Though it might be kinda and tiring, but I used to that in school during semester 1! So I just need to get used to it again. =)
Alright, it's getting late and I need to sleep! Good night and God bless. =)
